Coffee Morning Regular Gifts

'I've decided to try that new 'camel's milk'... One hump or two?'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

Non-Power Breakfast

"I'm trying to lure in Generation X-ers. They're the new sandwich generation. They're sandwiched between caring for their kids and caring for their parents. So they drink lots and lots of coffee."

Big Newspaper Delivery

Waking Up With Rooster.

'Any chance of getting your alarm clock fixed?

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

Boss, customers are asking why you've doubled prices. I'm just being fair. When the cost of coffee beans go up, everyone thinks I'm justified in raising the price of coffee. But cost increases come in all shapes and sizes. What about my new 80" tv? What about my new car note? What about my manservant I just imported from London? I dream of the day when all costs can be passed on to customers equally. Greed is not a civil right issue!

'Look. . . for the last time, I'm not playin' 'footsie' with you!'

"I hate to sound like a sergeant, Ralph, but it's ten minutes to six."

Join me in a cup of tea!

"I know, I know — it looks silly, but you can’t imagine how warm I am."

The male of the species approaches the cafe counter. What's that, Mr. Pinkerton? Careful not to disturb those around him, the male scans his surroundings. His senses, his vision and his sense of smell have been honed by years of evolution and survival. Sniiif! At last, the male makes his move! He orders one slice of rhubarb pie, a la mode! You want pie? Suddenly, he is alerted to danger. The male seeks refuge behind a petunia! … but is it too late? No pie for him. The male will have a salad. The

'...and then the coffee morning led to an afternoon beer festival, followed by a cheese and wine tasting evening.'

'Nothing like a cup o' Joe before you mow.'

"Shall make another pot?"

'A dozen bagels, please. For here.'

"One can often infer things about the environment from the overall health of the bird population."

Try our bottomless cup of coffee!

"Flavor? It's 'let me drink my first cup before I stab you in the eyes' flavor."

It's the Dr. Sadie advice hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking nothing but Christmas-related calls. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You're on, Vancouver. What's your problem?! I'm an atheist. How come there's no national holiday for that? There is! It's called "Christmas"! The ads and the marketers have sucked everything religious out of it. Nothing in the Bible says "thou shalt shop." Good point.

"You didn't have to do that, Simon. It tells you on the box if there's a free gift inside!"

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the 'grande' size anymore without a prescription.'

Could you call back later? He doesn't even talk to me before 11am.

"I look forward to coming here for great tasting coffee. Every morning. . . but you are talking so loud I can't even smell it!"

'Realism first thing in the morning might kill him, Mirror Ralph. I'd better stand in.'

"Give me coffee or give me death."

I'd like a small coffee. One big coming up. I said a small! That's what it is. But we call it a big now. The medium is now called grandeur, and the large is the skyscraper. Yeah, and what do you call these inflated prices? Cheaper.

I can't wait to stop staying away from it all and start getting away from ti all.

Awning for Customer Use Only

I'm Cort Lark with American Families Against Inter-Species Smooching. We are urging a boycott of Rudy Park and the cafe where this foul comic feature takes place. There is a pet monkey who hands out here and who has been cuddly with a woman! Not who, dear. That has been cuddly with a woman. We take our pronouns very seriously AFAISS.

"Great to be back at the 'office', just a glass of water for me, thanks."