Morning Coffee Gifts

'Realism first thing in the morning might kill him, Mirror Ralph. I'd better stand in.'

"Flavor? It's 'let me drink my first cup before I stab you in the eyes' flavor."

Coffee Hydrant

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

Eternal Student.

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

Selling lemon latt�

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

Multi-tasking.

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"Man's best friends."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"At this office no two days are different."

'These are job perks.'

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

Back to work...

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"