Coffee Shop Regular Gifts

Coffee shop menu flow chart.

"Do me a favor, honey, and go get me a latte?"

'A dozen bagels, please. For here.'

"Great to be back at the 'office', just a glass of water for me, thanks."

"Give me coffee or give me death."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the 'grande' size anymore without a prescription.'

Coffee tables styled as espresso, Americano and tall skinny latte.

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"NOthin ever happens round here."

The F,B,I's high-budget witness protection program-issued disguises,

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"One can often infer things about the environment from the overall health of the bird population."

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

You've Had Enough!

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

National Coffee Day

Decapitated coffee.

How About Serving Us For a Change

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

"There's no such thing as free wi-fi."

Kitty's Coffee Shop

'Thanks for coming out with me. I really needed a caffeine fix.'

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

St Bernard with Cappucino, Espresso, and Latte.

Coffee-Rex: Even more irritable than a Tea-Rex.

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

The Coffee Tattoo

'What do you mean, you just sell coffee? I don't understand, what kind of shop is that?'