Coffee Shop Regulars Gifts

"I know, I know — it looks silly, but you can’t imagine how warm I am."

What's your guess? "Venetian blondes."

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

You've Had Enough!

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"The waiter said he wouldn't recommend the octopus, so what do you order? The octopus."

How About Serving Us For a Change

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

"No Joke! I taught my dog to fetch coffee."

"There's no such thing as free wi-fi."

IT security.

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

Boss, customers are asking why you've doubled prices. I'm just being fair. When the cost of coffee beans go up, everyone thinks I'm justified in raising the price of coffee. But cost increases come in all shapes and sizes. What about my new 80" tv? What about my new car note? What about my manservant I just imported from London? I dream of the day when all costs can be passed on to customers equally. Greed is not a civil right issue!

Starbucks Siren

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

"It's not all your fault, some of it is my mother's!"

Clive would be lost without his morning heart starter.

Rocket Parking

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

"Hold on, I'll make that coffee to go!"

"She has perfected her micro-nap to look as though she is thinking."

Darlene? Rudy? I heard you might be hanging out here. I thought I'd come by just to say hello and see how you're doing. That's nice. Coffee King. I love you. Hence Coffee King. House of Java.

"Look, I'm happy to drop my attachment to ego, but please, don't expect me to give up coffee!"

The waitstaff at Luigi's like to have fun when they administered the Heimlich maneuver.

"Oh, great. ... My Aunt Donna is now on Facebook!"

"They're flipping to see who pays for the meal."

Self-Isolatteion

Two cosa nostra gangsters sipping tea.

'Hi, I'm Raoul...I shall be your talking point of the evening.'

'I'll just grab a coffee...'

'The doctor says I gotta cut back on caffeine. I'd better skip the bottomless cup of coffee today, Phyllis.'

'It's high time to make the boss clear that I'm the best employee ever!'

"Would you like me to leave room for us to get back together?"

'Great idea, Pete!'