Coffee Aficionados Gifts

Coffee sizes

'I've reached that age where I've given up on Mind Over Matter and am concentrating on Mind Over Bladder.'

Calendar; 'Point of no return.'

Mourning break.

"Heck, yeah, we have benefits! Take the coffeepot, for instance...it's always full."

"Look, I'm happy to drop my attachment to ego, but please, don't expect me to give up coffee!"

"It's not all your fault, some of it is my mother's!"

Regular $3, with commercials $2

'Hello? Lester's Coffee Shop?'

The Conversation Cafe

The Movers Strip - Freshly ground coffee

Bunny in People Slippers.

'The recession is now affecting Ralph's hairline.'

"It's a mug's game!"

'In hindsight, I'd say never broach the subject of marriage on the Long Island Expressway.'

"I like how we've changed our routine by going to the cafe Sunday mornings."

"How did you sleep?"

"I've bought you the decaf flat white you ordered via the smart speaker."

"No Joke! I taught my dog to fetch coffee."

Self-Isolatteion

Rocket Parking

"I'm not sure if getting coffee is such a good idea."

Coffee Shop - Today's special: 3 bucks for a lousy cup of coffee.

One extra large latte with whole milk

Well, that's a first.

What, you've never seen coffee with a worm in it? The Too-Early Bird.

Uh-uh, no way, I'm not falling for that old good coffee – bad coffee routine.

Insomniaction figures.

The House of Java Cafe was suddenly a house divided. The humble establishment had been divided into faith-based and non-faith-based seating. Heathen! Blasphemer! Cereal-eater! Judgmental scone-lover! You have no values. You have even less! And some walking a not-so-delicate line down the middle. You're all stinkin' losers!

Armstrong, what's "beardilizer," and why's our menu say we can add it to any coffee drink? Studies show the male hipster spends 14% more on coffee than the average patron. Studies also show that 78% of male hipsters are trying to grow huge lumberjack beards. Studies also show that a pallet of fertilizer somehow flew off of a freight train as it passed by my house last week. Very bad man. Remind me to thank whoever added that speed-bump to the train tracks by my house.

"Happy New Quarter."

Starbucks Siren

"I'll vote for anyone who isn't a dog."

"So, how do you like cappuccino?"

"Et tu, Juan?"