Caffeine Aficionados Gifts

"Jump-start?"

Night-shift entrance

'You've got a very stressful job, right? You're blood group black, no milk and three pieces of sugar.'

"How's the home schooling going?"

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Eternal Student.

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

"Man's best friends."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

Back to work...

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

Allegro con molto espresso

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

"The more coffee I drink, the more these motivational posters make sense."

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

Joined at the hipster.

You've Had Enough!

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

"I'm trying to lure in Generation X-ers. They're the new sandwich generation. They're sandwiched between caring for their kids and caring for their parents. So they drink lots and lots of coffee."

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

Countervailing Clichés.

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

Writers without borders.