Caffeine Lovers Gifts

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

Coffee. Blessing in disguise are one thing. It's the ones with stolen identities you need to watch out for.

Armstrong is doping the girls on Team Caffeine with Sadie Cohen saliva? Slips it into their cocoa. The team hasn't lost in months. They're monsters. Do you realize what this means? Well I suppose I do grasp the full implications. We should bet on the team. I've contacted a bookie.

Coffee. Yeah, the muses are always the first ones here in the morning.

'I burnt my hand in hot water.' - 'Why didn't you feel it before putting your hand in?'

"Coffee doesn't get me out of bed in the morning. I need a direct short from a defibrillator."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Eternal Student.

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

Burning the midnight oil.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"Man's best friends."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

You've Had Enough!

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Allegro con molto espresso

"I'm losing my patience with you."

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

Joined at the hipster.

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

"We used up our planet's energy source and we're here to hijack yours. Where do you keep all your coffee?"