Coffee Shop Aficionado Gifts

"Would you like me to leave room for us to get back together?"

"Oh, great. ... My Aunt Donna is now on Facebook!"

ASMR for Quarantine

'Isn't this the couch we sold at our yard sale? The one the cat peed on?'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

Back to work...

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"The more coffee I drink, the more these motivational posters make sense."

Allegro con molto espresso

You've Had Enough!

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

Non-Power Breakfast

Countervailing Clichés.

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"I'm trying to lure in Generation X-ers. They're the new sandwich generation. They're sandwiched between caring for their kids and caring for their parents. So they drink lots and lots of coffee."

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

Mea Maxima Cuppa

"Right now it's between you and two hundred and fifty other people who came to Seattle, moved in with five roommates, joined a band, took a job in a coffee bar, got fed up, had a meeting with themselves, and decided it was time to go out and find a real job."

EU and India partnership.

"In accordance with our new 'sharing of responsibilities initiative,' you'll all be responsible for getting my coffee." i

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

"We love each other very much, and we concur on alcohol and coffee. But we're unable to come to an agreement on meat and fish."