Coffee Shop Connoisseur Gifts

Armstrong, I have an idea. Advertise the caf

"I'm suing you for false advertising."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

Selling lemon latt�

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"At this office no two days are different."

Wifi in Hell

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

'These are job perks.'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Back to work...

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

Allegro con molto espresso

"The more coffee I drink, the more these motivational posters make sense."

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

You've Had Enough!

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

Hats and Food

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.