Coffee Connoisseurs Gifts

'Note to myself: Next time I'm wide awake half the night, just get up, DO NOT fall asleep 10 minutes before the alarm goes off!'

Mt. Rushmore Spinoffs.

We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion. Oh no. I've spent the last 72 hours analyzing our customer base. Our granola and kale latte helped us capture the hipster demo once we bundled it with cigarettes and vinyl records. Our caffeine-infused mocha helped us capture the white-collar set once we bundled it with motivational recordings. But there's one demographic we still haven't monopolized. First-time parents of toddlers. How proficient are you at potty training? I q

Coffee. Yeah, the muses are always the first ones here in the morning.

Evolution of man in the morning

'Sure, it's paradise, but I miss the coffee breaks.'

'He's on his sixth cup of coffee.'

"I've bought you the decaf flat white you ordered via the smart speaker."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

Selling lemon latt�

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

'These are job perks.'

"Man's best friends."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"At this office no two days are different."

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

Allegro con molto espresso

Joined at the hipster.

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

Espresso Martini Peacock

'Who gets the decaf?'

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."