Coffee Enthusiast Gifts

"I don't understand it - no matter how much I drink coffee, play on my phone, refresh my e-mail, look up things online, go to the kitchen for snacks, message my friends, scroll through Twitter, and play with the cats, I still can't get any writing done."

Deus ex Caffeina

"Not to lecture, but the skull of your fallen enemy is reusable and much less wasteful."

The More You're Awake The Longer You Live

They Love Themselves

'Welcome aboard, Peterson. I understand we're going to be working together!'

'I have identified 240 stages of organizational change. Before I discuss them, coffee anyone?'

'Sorry, I can't take your order right now...I'm on my coffee break.'

'No, I don't take any drugs, but I do have a $50 a day latte habit.'

Woman bringing coffee cups to business people attending a video conference (via computer screens).

'Right about here I added a drip coffee maker, with high caffeine premium blend coffee, to the employee break room.'

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'I don't think that blob was an unusual roof design, but a coffee stain.'

It's a natural progression from casual Fridays to Pajama Mondays.

"This work placement should be seen as a unique opportunity to access some of the country's most powerful and influential people, and make them coffee."

Acme Pest Control

'You think gas is high? Your mocha latte works out to $85 a gallon.'

'All I want is a chance to PROVE money can't make me happy.'

It's all in how you ask ("Want some coffee?")

'Your call is important to us, but so are our coffee breaks. We'll be with you shortly.'

Flowchart of an idea.

Giant Monsters At The Water Cooler

Coffee stand-restroom cycle.

'Long term I want to enhance my leadership skills and ascend the corporate ladder. Short term I want to enjoy a mocha latte.'

Staff are all busy having a cup of coffee and a bit of a sit down...please hold on, your call IS important to us!

"It's nice to come here and get a break from the office."

Starbucks gets a radio station; "Funny, whenever I listen to this station I get a craving for a caramel frappuccino."

'I'd love to continue this conversation, about my poor job performance, but it's almost time for my coffee break.'

Regular and Decaf Fuel.

'Relax. It's from the cappuccino.'

'What's the point of looking at your side of the argument when it's wrong.'

"You have to know how to work the machine."

He wants a black coffee. Do we serve that?

"The coffee is free, but now we rent the tables."

'OK everyone, standard brief - I take two cups of coffee before take-off, another with lunch and a twenty minute bathroom break on decent.'