Real Coffee Enthusiast Gifts

'It's just a polite way to say we serve real coffee, not those frappastupid, cappasissy, frothy coffee drinks.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

Eternal Student.

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

Burning the midnight oil.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Back to work...

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"The more coffee I drink, the more these motivational posters make sense."

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"I'm losing my patience with you."

Allegro con molto espresso

You've Had Enough!

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

Writers without borders.

'Would you all please congatulate...'

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."