Coffee Shop Employee Gifts

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

When the trendy bottoms out.

National Coffee Day

"Can you make me a tall Tazo chai latte with soy milk?" Bartleby, the soon-to-be-unemployed barista.

Republicans have me feeling reflective about capitalism, in a good way. Uh, oh. You've been with the company 20 years. I appreciate that kind of loyalty. I just want you to know that. Thanks. It also makes me realize that you have few other job options and thus are more or less subject to my whims regarding pay and benefits. Okay, pep talk over. Enjoy your day. Hang on, I could maybe possibly get a job at Coffee King!

"Do you realize I haven't had a raise in twelve years?"

'The good news is I'm down to one latte a day.'

"The good news is that the CEO said he had never seen such a committed and competent group of workers. The sad news is that he was talking about the staff at the coffee shop next door."

"We take complaints very seriously. Last week we executed be in tire family of a member of staff who served cold coffee to a customer."

"I wanted a job with a few perks."

"Working here includes some pretty sweet perks."

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

Decapitated coffee.

How About Serving Us For a Change

'Any chance of a ploughman's?'

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

Kitty's Coffee Shop

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

"There's no such thing as free wi-fi."

'Thanks for coming out with me. I really needed a caffeine fix.'

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

Starbucks doubles its sales by devising a way to sell coffee over the Internet,

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

"We've already had 35 people sign up for our new latte, scone and debt-consolidation loan combo. Where are you going to get all this money to loan people? Are you wearing a wire? Are you sure this is on the level? Smash your cellphone and I'll answer you."

The Coffee Tattoo

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

Boss, customers are asking why you've doubled prices. I'm just being fair. When the cost of coffee beans go up, everyone thinks I'm justified in raising the price of coffee. But cost increases come in all shapes and sizes. What about my new 80" tv? What about my new car note? What about my manservant I just imported from London? I dream of the day when all costs can be passed on to customers equally. Greed is not a civil right issue!

"How are your latte art classes going?"

St Bernard with Cappucino, Espresso, and Latte.

"Six hundred Starbucks closing? Really? Is that on the East Side or West Side?"