Coffee Shop Employee Gifts

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

National Coffee Day

"Can you make me a tall Tazo chai latte with soy milk?" Bartleby, the soon-to-be-unemployed barista.

"Do you realize I haven't had a raise in twelve years?"

'The good news is I'm down to one latte a day.'

"The good news is that the CEO said he had never seen such a committed and competent group of workers. The sad news is that he was talking about the staff at the coffee shop next door."

"We take complaints very seriously. Last week we executed be in tire family of a member of staff who served cold coffee to a customer."

"I wanted a job with a few perks."

"Working here includes some pretty sweet perks."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

Decapitated coffee.

'Any chance of a ploughman's?'

How About Serving Us For a Change

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

'Thanks for coming out with me. I really needed a caffeine fix.'

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

"There's no such thing as free wi-fi."

Kitty's Coffee Shop

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

"We've already had 35 people sign up for our new latte, scone and debt-consolidation loan combo. Where are you going to get all this money to loan people? Are you wearing a wire? Are you sure this is on the level? Smash your cellphone and I'll answer you."

'What do you mean, you just sell coffee? I don't understand, what kind of shop is that?'

St Bernard with Cappucino, Espresso, and Latte.

The Coffee Tattoo

"How are your latte art classes going?"

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"Six hundred Starbucks closing? Really? Is that on the East Side or West Side?"

"Introducing the Schultzaccino. Neither tea nor coffee."

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

Coffee-Rex: Even more irritable than a Tea-Rex.

'This meat is off, bring me the manager.'- 'Sure, would you like him fried or boiled?'