Coffeehouse Staff Gifts

"You ordered the Iced Coffee?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Counting ribs

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

Today's special... donuts.

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"You owe me five bucks."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

'I'd like a round table!'

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

'Would you like a balloon with that?'

"Would you prefer the talking or the non-talking section?"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Room for dessert, folks?"

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'We'll start with a menu and a glass of water.'