Coffeehouse Staff Gifts

"You ordered the Iced Coffee?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Counting ribs

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

Today's special... donuts.

"You owe me five bucks."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'I'd like a round table!'

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

"Would you prefer the talking or the non-talking section?"

"Room for dessert, folks?"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'Would you like a balloon with that?'

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'We'll start with a menu and a glass of water.'

National Coffee Day