Coffee Shop Workers Gifts

Will pull fire alarm so you can ditch your online date.

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"Hold on, I'll make that coffee to go!"

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

Wifi in Hell

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

Decapitated coffee.

National Coffee Day

How About Serving Us For a Change

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

'Any chance of a ploughman's?'

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

Kitty's Coffee Shop

'Thanks for coming out with me. I really needed a caffeine fix.'

"There's no such thing as free wi-fi."

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

Starbucks doubles its sales by devising a way to sell coffee over the Internet,

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

'What do you mean, you just sell coffee? I don't understand, what kind of shop is that?'

"We've already had 35 people sign up for our new latte, scone and debt-consolidation loan combo. Where are you going to get all this money to loan people? Are you wearing a wire? Are you sure this is on the level? Smash your cellphone and I'll answer you."

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

Coffee-Rex: Even more irritable than a Tea-Rex.

Dateline - Caf

"Introducing the Schultzaccino. Neither tea nor coffee."

"How are your latte art classes going?"

St Bernard with Cappucino, Espresso, and Latte.

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

The Coffee Tattoo

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

"Six hundred Starbucks closing? Really? Is that on the East Side or West Side?"

'Relax. It's from the cappuccino.'