Working At Cafes Gifts

What the Person Sitting Next to You at Starbucks is 'Working On'

Monkey, do you think I'm wasting my life at this cafe? I serve coffee and scones, make small talk with strangers and regulars, clean up their messes and the bathroom. Tell my problems to a mute monkey who doesn't even listen and thinks only about food. House of Java.net Cybercafe. That's right, I'm on to you.

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

Today's special... donuts.

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

Hats and Food

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.

Cafe Burns.

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

National Coffee Day

'Any chance of a ploughman's?'

How About Serving Us For a Change

Coffee Menu

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"I'd say business was brisk."

The American Tearoom, Moscow

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'