Cafe Visiting Gifts

'So how would you like your coffee...Small, Large or Intravenous???'

'You've had enough!'

"Do you realize I haven't had a raise in twelve years?"

'What's with the drum set?'

'Hey let's see what 'Aroma Lattes' is like, Jill! I've heard the coffee here IS to die for!'

'Salt and pepper spray- this is a tough joint!'

"I look forward to coming here for great tasting coffee every morning... but you are talking so loud I can't even smell it!"

"Great to be back at the 'office', just a glass of water for me, thanks."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

Today's special... donuts.

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

Hats and Food

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"I'd say business was brisk."

The American Tearoom, Moscow

Swallows returning to Cappuccino.

"Howdy folks. My name is Mary-Lou and I'll be your server tonight."

'You made me jump.'

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

Dave's Hamburger Shop