Golf Course Negotiator Gifts

'I thought we'd get a merger agreement, so I arranged for our accountant teams to be on hand.'

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

The Golfing Accident

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

'Jack wants to stay home and rad books, and I wanted him to take up roller skating, so we compromised.'

"There goes the merger between Brigg's corporation and Ludlow industries!"

"I can't tell if Ed is taking a long time to line up his shot... Or if he fell asleep again!"

'Those with a lot of Money.'

"Instead of eggs, you're going to look after the lost balls in the water hazards."

'No, you can't win it. But if you can figure out how to get my wife's car off the lake, I'd appreciate it.'

'The other one, Vince! Grab the other one! He's got a Rolex!'

Danger! Litigators, retrieve golf balls at your own risk.

"What have you done?"

'Now, Perkins, hit my ball straight down the fairway for about 300 yards.'

Mole living in golf hole.

'Tell me the truth,Rodney - you've moved the hole haven't you!'

"There are some folks waiting to play through."

'Drat, another hole-in-one. Pity really - I was looking forward to some putting practice.'

'I told you to turn left - this is a bunker on the golf course!'

"I arranged a foursome like you asked. Allen, Jack, Gene and Howard are playing at three."

Golfers! Do not walk on this fairway! Crawl on your belly like a lizard.

'Oh what's the use? You don't know the course.'

'Bobby, I'll need the 12 gauge for this shot.'

"Perhaps we can arrive a a mutually beneficial arrangement?"

Who Designed This Course?

"The king of divots, every game is played like the last."

Children playing divorcees

"We need our money back please."