Funny Cards Gifts

'Okay, I'll be your Valentine, but don't get any funny ideas.'

I'm in a hurry. Got any "Sorry I crapped on your carpet" cards?

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Sleepwalker on treadmill

'Jurassic Pork.'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

"You can always count on me."

Improve your leaping ability or your money back.

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

"What you have is what we call Cactunitus. It's when your skin is so dry you start to morph into a cactus."

Chippunks

Happy Valentine's Day

"We keep revisiting this leash thing... Why is it so difficult for him?"

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

'Will Work For Food, The Take, Like, Two Bites And Walk Away.'

'Whoa! Must have snowed two feet last night.'

'Do you have any denture friendly sandwiches?'

'One more thing -- My Dad says that if you bring me one more 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' tape, he'll rip off your beard and set fire to it.'

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

Woman stuck doing situps has spider web being built under arm

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

'He's not great at playing dead, but his sad look when he's in trouble is a real work of art.'

Cut it out! I was saving that food for later! If dogs had braces.

'This milk smells funny.'

"I-800-DOGYLAW"

"Madeleine is always losing her contact lenses"

Our body parts

'You wish, Timmy.'