Collector Of Quirky Cards Gifts

"Where do you keep the cards with the money in them?"

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

"The Englishman goes to the beach once a year to shed his skin."

Evolution Interrupted By Man Fishing

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

An early Picasso painting is sold at auction - it is a painting from when Picasso was a child

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

"Just pick some. No one expects a postcard to reflect your personal aesthetic."

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

Happy Valentine's Day

'I just found out my vintage Roy Rogers lunch box is worth more than my 401k.'

"You have such beautiful eyes."

'The stuff legends are made of'

'Do you have one that plays the theme from Godzilla?'

"He calls himself orange roughy, but I remember when his name was slimehead."

Who Typexed out the grass?

"You should have said you only wanted a trim. . . I'd have sent you to the barber next door."

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

Cold Callers!

Valentines for Things

'According to his stats, this right-fielder hit .317 and is 50 in stocks, 30 in bonds and 20 in cash.'

"Before you go inside, give me a chance to explain the mess ..."

2After using the Internet all day, Brad doesn't like any kind of popup."

'Relax Mrs Flanagan, I've never known a high fibre exorcism to fail yet!'

"That's a nasty cavity. That is why it is so important to brush your hair."

Happy birthday to you!

'So you've decided to drop the whole 'man with no name' image, have you?' 'Tarquin Chadwick, Gunslinger'

'Blasphemous? Christ no!'

Parp!

'Do you have one that plays the theme from Godzilla?'

Cat and Mouse

Devil selling angel wings.