Collector Of Quirky Cards Pillows

"Where do you keep the cards with the money in them?"

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

"The Englishman goes to the beach once a year to shed his skin."

Evolution Interrupted By Man Fishing

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

"Just pick some. No one expects a postcard to reflect your personal aesthetic."

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

"You have such beautiful eyes."

'The stuff legends are made of'

"You should have said you only wanted a trim. . . I'd have sent you to the barber next door."

"He calls himself orange roughy, but I remember when his name was slimehead."

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

Who Typexed out the grass?

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

Valentines for Things

Cold Callers!

'According to his stats, this right-fielder hit .317 and is 50 in stocks, 30 in bonds and 20 in cash.'

2After using the Internet all day, Brad doesn't like any kind of popup."

"That's a nasty cavity. That is why it is so important to brush your hair."

'Relax Mrs Flanagan, I've never known a high fibre exorcism to fail yet!'

Happy birthday to you!

'Blasphemous? Christ no!'

Cat and Mouse

'So you've decided to drop the whole 'man with no name' image, have you?' 'Tarquin Chadwick, Gunslinger'

'Do you have one that plays the theme from Godzilla?'

Parp!

'I almost forgot...Happy Birthday!'

Devil selling angel wings.