Humorous Card Collectors Pillows

"It's unrealistic for us to have a chimney, tree, or stockings, so you can forget about Santa."

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

Santa called but you were out!

"Guide to physical comedy fish"

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

"Come on. Why not just try dog hot dogs for a change?"

The Heating Oil Problem.

'The urge to spawn comes from the desire to hear the pitter-patter of tiny fins.'

'I want you to 'take him for a walk.''

'Oh yeah? Well I'm not crazy about your humming, either!'

'Relax, he is just playing fetch the stick with the kids.'

'In future a reg number will suffice, ok.'

"I only live for 24 hours, so I need a temp job that pays big bugs."

Dinosaur Pet Stores

'I want one that says 'get lost' but includes a pocket compass.'

'One more thing -- My Dad says that if you bring me one more 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' tape, he'll rip off your beard and set fire to it.'

"Can you fit him with remote control facilities, doctor"

Witless protection prgram

Why clown agents shoul never hide in the WC

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

Witch stopped by policeman for going the wrong way up a one way street.

New Sheik'n'vac magic carpet freshners.

"The disciples are gonna be totally freaked."

Dizzy Spider

'According to his stats, this right-fielder hit .317 and is 50 in stocks, 30 in bonds and 20 in cash.'

"Jeez, Billy, you're always talking trash!"

Chimp with mail-order anthill.

Bad Mom Cards - Collect The Whole Set!