Snarky Card Collector Pillows

Age Cards.

"It would appear they worshipped the almighty dollar."

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

The water desk

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

'Thanks for not asking for a rise.'

"You have such beautiful eyes."

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

"You should have said you only wanted a trim. . . I'd have sent you to the barber next door."

Fourth quarter earnings down, please help.

Aggression Therapy Seminar

Who Typexed out the grass?

'One more thing -- My Dad says that if you bring me one more 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' tape, he'll rip off your beard and set fire to it.'

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

Valentines for Things

'Amazing! I thought they were more or less extinct!'

'According to his stats, this right-fielder hit .317 and is 50 in stocks, 30 in bonds and 20 in cash.'

British PM David Cameron resigns

Help Wanted: Faith Healer Healthcare Provider.

Affirmative response executive - Remember when they were just called 'yes-men'?

2After using the Internet all day, Brad doesn't like any kind of popup."

'Relax Mrs Flanagan, I've never known a high fibre exorcism to fail yet!'

"That's a nasty cavity. That is why it is so important to brush your hair."

'Do you have one that plays the theme from Godzilla?'

Parp!

Happy birthday to you!

'So you've decided to drop the whole 'man with no name' image, have you?' 'Tarquin Chadwick, Gunslinger'

"'Fancy a shag', I think this one is from Dwayne!"

'I almost forgot...Happy Birthday!'

Hit by corona.

Climate-Conscious Cartoonists Work Without Paper!