Witty Card Collector Pillows

Kebab doner card

Thank you bubbles

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

Philosopher trading cards.

The Card Flinger

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

Red Card - Gold Card.

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

'I'm a football referee - I'll have a box of red and a box of yellow.'

Card shark

Will Work for Food: By 'work' I mean do nothing. . . by 'food' I mean cash.

"You have such beautiful eyes."

Business people buying greeting cards.

"I'm looking for a card that says 'Your Love Is Priceless' for under $5."

Husband / Wife / On The Side

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

"My little brother's almost all better. Can I get half-off?"

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

Never date a medical illustrator.

Who Typexed out the grass?

'Occassional cards'

Greeting Cards

'One more thing -- My Dad says that if you bring me one more 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' tape, he'll rip off your beard and set fire to it.'

"You should have said you only wanted a trim. . . I'd have sent you to the barber next door."

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'That does it! I've had it with that nincompoop! Every time there's a birthday, he's the first to sign the card and he never leaves room for anyone else!'

'Do you have one that comes with a disclaimer?'

"This one's called 'unpaid electric bills'."