Funny Card Collector Gifts

Tooty-Fruity

'Why do I go out with a short, fat, bald guy like you? Well for one thing, you make me look good.'

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

Ball as water-melon.

Thank you bubbles

Santa called but you were out!

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

Philosopher trading cards.

The Card Flinger

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

Happy Valentine's Day

'I'm a football referee - I'll have a box of red and a box of yellow.'

Card shark

'I'm working through the Summer as usual: I take my annual leave in Winter you see...'

Red Card - Gold Card.

"You have such beautiful eyes."

Business people buying greeting cards.

"I'm looking for a card that says 'Your Love Is Priceless' for under $5."

Over the Hill Birthday Cards

Husband / Wife / On The Side

'I want one that says 'get lost' but includes a pocket compass.'

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

'Occassional cards'

Greeting Cards

'Do you have one that plays the theme from Godzilla?'

Never date a medical illustrator.

"Can't you read? Our shipment is late."

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

"You should have said you only wanted a trim. . . I'd have sent you to the barber next door."

"My little brother's almost all better. Can I get half-off?"

Who Typexed out the grass?