Funny Card Collector Gifts

'Why do I go out with a short, fat, bald guy like you? Well for one thing, you make me look good.'

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

Ball as water-melon.

Thank you bubbles

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

Santa called but you were out!

Philosopher trading cards.

The Card Flinger

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

Red Card - Gold Card.

'I'm a football referee - I'll have a box of red and a box of yellow.'

Card shark

'I'm working through the Summer as usual: I take my annual leave in Winter you see...'

"You have such beautiful eyes."

Business people buying greeting cards.

"I'm looking for a card that says 'Your Love Is Priceless' for under $5."

'One more thing -- My Dad says that if you bring me one more 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' tape, he'll rip off your beard and set fire to it.'

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

"My little brother's almost all better. Can I get half-off?"

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

Never date a medical illustrator.

Who Typexed out the grass?

'Occassional cards'

Greeting Cards

Husband / Wife / On The Side

"You should have said you only wanted a trim. . . I'd have sent you to the barber next door."

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

'I want one that says 'get lost' but includes a pocket compass.'

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'That does it! I've had it with that nincompoop! Every time there's a birthday, he's the first to sign the card and he never leaves room for anyone else!'