A fridge surrounded by books.
Food Realist Gifts
Looking for a gift for your food realist friend or family member? Showcase their passion for honest, no-nonsense eating with products that highlight their love for authentic food experiences. From witty t-shirts to charming prints, find something that truly speaks to their culinary appreciation. These thoughtful, fun items are perfect for anyone who believes in the beauty of unembellished, real food and enjoys sharing their down-to-earth approach to eating.
What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?
View to the Future
Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.
'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'
Man Eating Minimalist Meal
"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"
'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'
"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."
"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"
'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'
'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'
"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."
Surprise in the salad bowl
"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."
You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son - Just enjoy being a mostaccioli while it lasts.
'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'
"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."
'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'
"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."
"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."
"Give me your metabolism! Now!"
"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"
"Is it free-range?"
Fast Food Dieter
Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry
'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'
'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'
"First you make a roux."
"Not bad, but it has a sort of plastic aftertaste."
"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."
"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"
The Politics of Food.
Taken genetic engineering too far
'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'
Food Realist Gifts Collection
Food Realist Mugs
Explore our collection of mugs that celebrate food realism with clever quotes and charming designs. Perfect for any honest foodie’s morning routine.
Food Realist Pillows
Find cozy pillows that celebrate the love for honest food. A charming addition to any kitchen or casual space for food lovers who keep it real.
Food Realist Prints
Browse our prints that beautifully illustrate the foodie’s genuine approach to cuisine. Perfect for decorating kitchens or dining areas with personality.
Food Realist T-Shirts
Discover t-shirts that speak to the food realist in your life—fun, thoughtful, and perfect for showcasing their passion for unpretentious eating.