Healthy Living Realist Gifts

'I don't think cholesterol had been invented then.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

On the back of the t-shirt...

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

The Fast Lane.

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Yoga vs. Prosecco

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

To do before Saturday...

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

The trim reaper

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

WHO checklist

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."