Health Realist Gifts

'As I said, the medication won't cure you, but it will make you more comfortable for the duration.'

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

World Production.

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Fast Food Dieter

'Any chance of me being recycled Doc?'

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

DNA doctor

'Well I think it's worth a try!'

"Fourteen months ago, I started with H20. I just ended with H20."

'Hey, what do you want from me? As a primary care physician, ALL I DO is prescribe drugs and refer you to specialists.'

'How optimistic are you about the future?'

Proverbs for Real Life. When one door closes it's probably locked and your key is on the other side.

Blood is thicker than water. Oil is thicker yet.

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

'Realist Trac, with 4 settings...'

This thing on my neck is keeping me awake at night.

Problem of getting older.

'Okay Kid. Start Jumping! This will be the only exercise I'll get all day.'

'I don't think cholesterol had been invented then.'

'They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said no no no.'

How do medicines work? They don't! All they do is give God time to heal the body!

Gas Supply To Europe

A fridge surrounded by books.

"Yes, it is a very large bill. Unfortunately, the doctor who gave you a second opinion charges ten times what I do."

'But surely if I'm convinced I'm a hypochondriac that makes me one?'

"This is my exercise routine, and this is my routine to avoid that exercise routine."

"I can only run for 30 mins, it's the longest I can bare to be away from my phone."

Reality Check.

Reality Football

"... I CAN'T be 'at risk for a heart attack,' I never exert myself!"

"I'm sorry to say, on your salary, you're incurable."

"Sometimes, in my dark moments, I do fear the firm handshake shall never return."