Health Anxiety Realist Gifts

"The good news is, you're not a hypochondriac"

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

Fast Food Dieter

'Ten things you should be worried about.'

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

"Well, I just experienced my first misophoia trigger."

'Hey, what do you want from me? As a primary care physician, ALL I DO is prescribe drugs and refer you to specialists.'

Just in time for Halloween...

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

'As I said, the medication won't cure you, but it will make you more comfortable for the duration.'

"He hates his six-monthly visits."

"I sleep poorly anyway, so you might as well put me in high-risk investments."

Anxiety/More Anxiety

Introducing...Superegoman!

"When you head off to camp, your parents will want to see some separation anxiety."

'He has a doctorate in worrying.'

Problem of getting older.

'I don't think cholesterol had been invented then.'

"This past summer, I got deeply depressed about our planet—as if I didn't have enough problems of my own."

'Has there ever been such a sickly group of rugged individualists.'

This thing on my neck is keeping me awake at night.

"I worry what the next mass extinction might be..."

'I disagree with you, doctor. It's not just a hangnail. According to the Internet, it's a rare genetic disorder. . .'

"Yes, it is a very large bill. Unfortunately, the doctor who gave you a second opinion charges ten times what I do."

Cold Comfort Books

The Grass Is Always Greener on the Other Side Phobia: 'We heard this is the land of opportunity. Our clients are bankrupt.'

"Hmm...this is an extreme case...!"

"This is my exercise routine, and this is my routine to avoid that exercise routine."

'Nature makes me nervous!'

'I can't stop thinking about that movie I saw last night...'

"I think the man in the corner may have the covid."

"Hypochondriac's Handbook. Where was I?"

Bob was embarrassed by his nervous tick

Insecurity guard: 'Are byou sure you didn't hear something- there it goes again!