Health Anxiety Warrior Gifts

Corona Caveman

"The TV just said cellphones give off dangerous radiation! That's it! I'm stopping this right now!"

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

Be Healthy

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Fight or Flight

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Try thinking about something else."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

That party went well.

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

Exercising

"I told him he should have trained more."

Shrinks in heaven

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"The little stress ball wasn't working."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime