Health And Wellness Warrior Gifts

Football Brain Injuries

'Elsewhere in the news, obesity and inactivity are sending baby boomers on a downward spiral!'

"How did they know we're on a diet?"

Chips - flavorings flavor.

'Oh, Fred's not even here. . . I'm aware of nothing. I can't hear, see, think, smell, breath or move.'

Life on Earth - My soul is thin.

"Well we did say that the surgery would give you the body of a teenager!"

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

Be Healthy

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

Hot Pie Therapy

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

'If you don't chill out, you are definitely heading for a meltdown...!'

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"Uptight End"

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

Exercising

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

"I told him he should have trained more."

Shrinks in heaven

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

'Do you really think shoulder-to-wheel and nose-to-grindstone are valid yoga positions?'

"I appreciate the support. It feels good to finally get that off my chest."