Food Rebel Gifts

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

You'll-Eat-Whatever-We-Give-You Bistro

Any time is cake o'clock

Garlic Free Zone.

"We'll start with the dessert menu."

"Valet park only"

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

Chocs away.

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

Blog Breakdown

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

"You betrayed her trust. You added spices to her soup. In Tia Carmen's eyes, you are an irresponsible youngster...and I don't blame her for doing this."

"I think the problem is that you're not eating properly..."

'Red or white wine with fish?' 'They're dead. They don't care.'

"But Herman, we can't just throw in the towel like that."

'Mom, I followed your time-honored legendary family recipe for Brussels Spout Bake with one exception - I substituted a pizza for the Brussels Sprouts.'

What can I get you? Ham sandwich with extra cheese. Double banana split. Side of sugar. Coming up, sir. I am abandoning my New Year's diet! If you're gonna go down, go down in flames. Burn these gym clothes!

'My mom told me to keep my hands out of the cookie jar, but nothing about my head.'

'Headmaster I'd like to report Biggins and Small who were caught this morning consuming trans-fats behind the bicycle shed.'

Punkcakes

"Beans count as healthy vegetables but jelly beans don't? Not faaaiiir!!!"

Melvin would go to any lengths to get away from McDonald's advertising...

Johnny Appleseed's Dirty Little Secret

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

'I always shop here. They don't sell low fat ice cream so the guilt is gone.'

Food that is good for you and food that is good for drug companies.

Attempting to eat your own bodyweight in cake can act as a mood enhancer.

Spaghetto

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

Dieting is for losers.

'This week, the secret ingredient on Iron chef is . . . Iron. Good luck, suckas.'

Anarchist Cutlery: Soup Knife/ Bread Fork, Steak Spoon.

"The Corned Beef Cappuccino needs work."

'Cookery is the new rock n' roll'

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."