Food Rebel Gifts

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

You'll-Eat-Whatever-We-Give-You Bistro

Any time is cake o'clock

Garlic Free Zone.

"We'll start with the dessert menu."

"Valet park only"

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

Chocs away.

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

Blog Breakdown

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

"But Herman, we can't just throw in the towel like that."

"You betrayed her trust. You added spices to her soup. In Tia Carmen's eyes, you are an irresponsible youngster...and I don't blame her for doing this."

'Red or white wine with fish?' 'They're dead. They don't care.'

"I think the problem is that you're not eating properly..."

'Mom, I followed your time-honored legendary family recipe for Brussels Spout Bake with one exception - I substituted a pizza for the Brussels Sprouts.'

Attempting to eat your own bodyweight in cake can act as a mood enhancer.

"Beans count as healthy vegetables but jelly beans don't? Not faaaiiir!!!"

Punkcakes

'My mom told me to keep my hands out of the cookie jar, but nothing about my head.'

'Headmaster I'd like to report Biggins and Small who were caught this morning consuming trans-fats behind the bicycle shed.'

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

Johnny Appleseed's Dirty Little Secret

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

Food that is good for you and food that is good for drug companies.

Dieting is for losers.

Spaghetto

Melvin would go to any lengths to get away from McDonald's advertising...

'I always shop here. They don't sell low fat ice cream so the guilt is gone.'

"Baldo, why are you eating dessert first?"

Anarchist Cutlery: Soup Knife/ Bread Fork, Steak Spoon.

"The Corned Beef Cappuccino needs work."

'Cookery is the new rock n' roll'

Diet Enforcer

"I just thought maybe we should consider letting ourselves go now instead of waiting a few years into our marriage."