Nutritional Rebel Gifts

''Not a significant source of anything even remotely nutritious'...wow, Mom, can we get these?'

Any time is cake o'clock

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Garlic Free Zone.

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

"Valet park only"

Chocs away.

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

"I'm a monster."

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

"Why are we eating all this fattening stuff? Pier pressure."

These upside-down tomato planters simplify everything. But, dad. Mother nature wants plants to grow upwards. Sez who?

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

'Red or white wine with fish?' 'They're dead. They don't care.'

"I think the problem is that you're not eating properly..."

"You betrayed her trust. You added spices to her soup. In Tia Carmen's eyes, you are an irresponsible youngster...and I don't blame her for doing this."

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"If medical science wants to be really relevant, it would find a way to let me eat all the bacon I want!"

"Please help us reduce our garbage and improve our energy efficiency and our water quality. Help us to be eco-wise and-above all-to empower others."

'Mom, I followed your time-honored legendary family recipe for Brussels Spout Bake with one exception - I substituted a pizza for the Brussels Sprouts.'

"It's improv night."

Lunch-Hour Highlights

'I always shop here. They don't sell low fat ice cream so the guilt is gone.'

"I didn't miss my workout...I didn't miss it one bit!"

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

"Beans count as healthy vegetables but jelly beans don't? Not faaaiiir!!!"

Spaghetto

Punkcakes

What can I get you? Ham sandwich with extra cheese. Double banana split. Side of sugar. Coming up, sir. I am abandoning my New Year's diet! If you're gonna go down, go down in flames. Burn these gym clothes!

Dieting is for losers.

'Headmaster I'd like to report Biggins and Small who were caught this morning consuming trans-fats behind the bicycle shed.'

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

'My mom told me to keep my hands out of the cookie jar, but nothing about my head.'