Nutritional Rebel Gifts

''Not a significant source of anything even remotely nutritious'...wow, Mom, can we get these?'

Any time is cake o'clock

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Garlic Free Zone.

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

Chocs away.

"Valet park only"

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

"I'm a monster."

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

"Why are we eating all this fattening stuff? Pier pressure."

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

"I think the problem is that you're not eating properly..."

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

'Red or white wine with fish?' 'They're dead. They don't care.'

"You betrayed her trust. You added spices to her soup. In Tia Carmen's eyes, you are an irresponsible youngster...and I don't blame her for doing this."

"If medical science wants to be really relevant, it would find a way to let me eat all the bacon I want!"

"Please help us reduce our garbage and improve our energy efficiency and our water quality. Help us to be eco-wise and-above all-to empower others."

'Mom, I followed your time-honored legendary family recipe for Brussels Spout Bake with one exception - I substituted a pizza for the Brussels Sprouts.'

Lunch-Hour Highlights

"It's improv night."

Punkcakes

'I always shop here. They don't sell low fat ice cream so the guilt is gone.'

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

Attempting to eat your own bodyweight in cake can act as a mood enhancer.

Spaghetto

'Headmaster I'd like to report Biggins and Small who were caught this morning consuming trans-fats behind the bicycle shed.'

"Beans count as healthy vegetables but jelly beans don't? Not faaaiiir!!!"

Dieting is for losers.

'My mom told me to keep my hands out of the cookie jar, but nothing about my head.'

"I didn't miss my workout...I didn't miss it one bit!"