Wellness Rebel Gifts

'My secret for a long life? I've always drank, smoked, made out with women and hated yogurt and exercising.'

"Then I discovered drinking wine in yoga pants does the job just as well."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

Any time is cake o'clock

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

Be Healthy

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Hot Pie Therapy

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

Shrinks in heaven

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

'What are you eating now?'

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

"Can I still do my pilates?"

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

Burnout Syndrome...

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

Chocs away.

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

Traditional vs alternative medicine.