Dietary Rebel Gifts

"I'm one of those vegetarians who eat meat."

'I'll just have whatever he doesn't notice.'

The Sprats

"I used to be a vegetarian, but I fell off the meat wagon."

Rice Cakes Gone Wild

Chocs away.

"He ordered the Meat Lovers Pizza and they all went berserk ... "

"It's called Devil's Food Cake because each slice contains 1000 calories!"

Any time is cake o'clock

"Charles didn't like tofu."

Garlic Free Zone.

"Valet park only"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

"We'll start with the dessert menu."

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"I'm a monster."

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

"Why are we eating all this fattening stuff? Pier pressure."

'Red or white wine with fish?' 'They're dead. They don't care.'

"You betrayed her trust. You added spices to her soup. In Tia Carmen's eyes, you are an irresponsible youngster...and I don't blame her for doing this."

"I think the problem is that you're not eating properly..."

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

'Mom, I followed your time-honored legendary family recipe for Brussels Spout Bake with one exception - I substituted a pizza for the Brussels Sprouts.'

Lunch-Hour Highlights

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

'Headmaster I'd like to report Biggins and Small who were caught this morning consuming trans-fats behind the bicycle shed.'

'I always shop here. They don't sell low fat ice cream so the guilt is gone.'

Attempting to eat your own bodyweight in cake can act as a mood enhancer.

'My mom told me to keep my hands out of the cookie jar, but nothing about my head.'

What can I get you? Ham sandwich with extra cheese. Double banana split. Side of sugar. Coming up, sir. I am abandoning my New Year's diet! If you're gonna go down, go down in flames. Burn these gym clothes!

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

"Beans count as healthy vegetables but jelly beans don't? Not faaaiiir!!!"