Diet Rebels Gifts

Woman reads book entitled: '101 reasons to postpone your diet.'

"I'm a monster."

"The diet is blown. I had a threesome and then ate both of them."

'You realize the first three letters in diet spells DIE'

"Why are we eating all this fattening stuff? Pier pressure."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Any time is cake o'clock

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

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Chocs away.

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

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Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"I AM following doctor's orders. He told me to cut back to one cup a day...right?!"

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

"I think the problem is that you're not eating properly..."

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

Attempting to eat your own bodyweight in cake can act as a mood enhancer.

'I always shop here. They don't sell low fat ice cream so the guilt is gone.'

'Headmaster I'd like to report Biggins and Small who were caught this morning consuming trans-fats behind the bicycle shed.'

'I'm on the workaholic's diet. I only eat when I can put it on an expense account.'

"Touch that and you're a dead man."

Dieting is for losers.

"Beans count as healthy vegetables but jelly beans don't? Not faaaiiir!!!"

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

'What makes the Tower of Pisa lean?' 'It never eats.'

What can I get you? Ham sandwich with extra cheese. Double banana split. Side of sugar. Coming up, sir. I am abandoning my New Year's diet! If you're gonna go down, go down in flames. Burn these gym clothes!

"We tried healthy birthday treats. That lasted about a week."

'This week, the secret ingredient on Iron chef is . . . Iron. Good luck, suckas.'

'It's the half-empty bag of cookies from the back of the pantry. Should I tell them you'll call back?'

"Sorry, kid, the nutrition nannies threatened to shut me down if I didn't change from chocolate to tofu Easter eggs."

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

"I just thought maybe we should consider letting ourselves go now instead of waiting a few years into our marriage."