Culinary Rebel Gifts

Antipasti protest.

'Mom, I followed your time-honored legendary family recipe for Brussels Spout Bake with one exception - I substituted a pizza for the Brussels Sprouts.'

'In light of today's general moral outrage, we're taking Devil's Food Cake off the menu.'

'... Do I look like I want the government recommended, healthy, one rasher BLT?'

"You betrayed her trust. You added spices to her soup. In Tia Carmen's eyes, you are an irresponsible youngster...and I don't blame her for doing this."

"Tia Carmen, this pig feet stew is delicious!"

"The doctor says I should go on a bland diet. There's no bland in this house!"

Gluten Cafe - For the rest of us.

The 5th Basic Food Group - Junk Food.

"You will have my dead body but not my obedience."

'I try to keep up with the trends in healthy eating. Today I'm making one of those 'warm salads' with sausage, fried eggs, bacon and black pudding.'

'I didn't feel like cooking today.'

'The Joy of Snacks.'

'We were all out of white wine - so I took the liberty of squeezing out a glass from the Dijon mustard.'

'The chili special and a corn dog? Okay, pal -- it's your life.'

It takes the fun out of it when the food police say it's okay.

Debunkhouse

'How about some beef stew? -- the wusses from the Health Department made us discontinue the chili.'

Punkcakes

"So that's a three bird roast."

Garlic Free Zone.

"The Corned Beef Cappuccino needs work."

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

Naughty Food

Anarchist Cutlery: Soup Knife/ Bread Fork, Steak Spoon.

"Valet park only"

Food-Snob Fear Factor

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Any time is cake o'clock

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

Thou Shalt Not!

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."