Fickle Friend Gifts

'The new teacher in our school is single and cute but he has commitment issues. He's changed his Internet service provider six times.'

Backfire

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"No, it's not a bug. Since you keep losing you phone, I purchased you a phone-locating drone."

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

'Remember the...um...the...uh...oh, yeah...remember the Alamo!'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

Aging Support Group

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

'You see doctor I've been increasingly Forgetful.'

Giraffe Selfie

Penguin Remote

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

Caliologist

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

"Harold! Don't forget to get the eggs!"

"I did my 10,000 steps by looking for my reading glasses."

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

Medieval sculptor hits thumb while carving a gargoyle.

"May I borrow your glasses so I can find my glasses?"

'I don't remember ever having a good memory.'

Man with 'low memory' on his phone and his head

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

"I'll help you find your glasses after I find my horn."

Amnesia Clinic: "Take one of these pills whenever you remember to."

"Tom, did you forget to feed the pets tonight?"

"It's not what you think."

Live Flower/Vase Flower - 'Julia?'

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

"They need to come up with an app that will locate your glasses."