Fickle Friend Pillows

'The new teacher in our school is single and cute but he has commitment issues. He's changed his Internet service provider six times.'

Backfire

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

"No, it's not a bug. Since you keep losing you phone, I purchased you a phone-locating drone."

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

'You see doctor I've been increasingly Forgetful.'

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

Caliologist

Giraffe Selfie

Penguin Remote

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

"I did my 10,000 steps by looking for my reading glasses."

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

"Harold! Don't forget to get the eggs!"

Amnesia Clinic: "Take one of these pills whenever you remember to."

Man with 'low memory' on his phone and his head

'I don't remember ever having a good memory.'

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

"May I borrow your glasses so I can find my glasses?"

"Tom, did you forget to feed the pets tonight?"

"It's not what you think."

Medieval sculptor hits thumb while carving a gargoyle.

Live Flower/Vase Flower - 'Julia?'

"They need to come up with an app that will locate your glasses."

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'