Farmhouse Chick Gifts

'When we were first married, he was all 'Cock-A-Doodle-Do.' Now, he's just 'Cock-A-Doodle-Don't.''

The Rural Bidet...

"Gesundtheit, Dear."

'Step on it, Larry.'

"What's the occasion?"

"Chocolate-coated rocks! Oh darling, you're spoiling me!"

"I get aroused when I see you in leather."

Chick Billiard Ball

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

"Old Martini Had A Farm"

'I don't suppose you have any grey poupon?'

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

"I'm off girls...gonna make the most of being an empty nester, while it lasts!!"

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

'Not the funky chicken?'

"I'm very proud of the grade A's, son, but what about these grade B smalls?"

Old McDonald bed & breakfast...NO EIEIOing after 10PM.

"Not that it makes a difference, but is this Wednesday or Thursday?"

'Stop playing hard to get!'

"Be honest Walter...Is it me you really love or just the farm-fresh eggs every morning?"

"Why are you giving them whiskey?"

"Every morning I find two or three of them like this. Can you tell me what's wrong?"

'I hate it when they take the food pyramid, mix it all together and serve it in a trough!'

Grant Wood didn't like the original composition for his 'American Gothic' painting.

Scarecrow with a TV head.

"You call this pigswill food?"

'What do you think of the barn conversion.'

...and this is you bedroom come dining room come kitchen come toilet!

'Big deal, so you passed a kidney stone...think about what I do for a living!'

'Of course he's never home. Didn't I warn you about marrying a Free-Range chicken?'

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, just as long as it's Grade A."

"The farmer steals our eggs every day! Why can't you stop him and defend us? You're truly useless!"

Red Hat Society Members.

A baby chick

Would you like to explain what this sheepskin is doing in your car?