Farmhouse Chick Pillows

'When we were first married, he was all 'Cock-A-Doodle-Do.' Now, he's just 'Cock-A-Doodle-Don't.''

The Rural Bidet...

"Gesundtheit, Dear."

'Step on it, Larry.'

"What's the occasion?"

"Chocolate-coated rocks! Oh darling, you're spoiling me!"

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

"I get aroused when I see you in leather."

Chick Billiard Ball

"Old Martini Had A Farm"

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

'I don't suppose you have any grey poupon?'

"I'm off girls...gonna make the most of being an empty nester, while it lasts!!"

"I'm very proud of the grade A's, son, but what about these grade B smalls?"

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

'Not the funky chicken?'

Old McDonald bed & breakfast...NO EIEIOing after 10PM.

"Not that it makes a difference, but is this Wednesday or Thursday?"

'Stop playing hard to get!'

"Be honest Walter...Is it me you really love or just the farm-fresh eggs every morning?"

'I hate it when they take the food pyramid, mix it all together and serve it in a trough!'

"You call this pigswill food?"

Grant Wood didn't like the original composition for his 'American Gothic' painting.

Scarecrow with a TV head.

'What do you think of the barn conversion.'

...and this is you bedroom come dining room come kitchen come toilet!

"Every morning I find two or three of them like this. Can you tell me what's wrong?"

"Why are you giving them whiskey?"

'Big deal, so you passed a kidney stone...think about what I do for a living!'

'Of course he's never home. Didn't I warn you about marrying a Free-Range chicken?'

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, just as long as it's Grade A."

"The farmer steals our eggs every day! Why can't you stop him and defend us? You're truly useless!"

A baby chick

Would you like to explain what this sheepskin is doing in your car?

"I can't believe you're breaking up with me in my favorite restaurant."