Elderly Couples Gifts

"Hearing aids. What did you wish for?"

Gift Suggestions for Post-Diamond Wedding Anniversaries

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"Wish I could do that." "Better give him a dog treat and a bath first."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

"We missed Fashion Week!"

"At our age I'd say we have about two or three binge watches left in us."

Snow & Flo series: Wedding guests.

'Come die with me.'

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'

"The Lord brings people together for reasons only he knows."

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

"Would you like to hear tonight's specials, or have you already closed yourselves to new experiences?"

"My doctor said I have 'a reptile dysfunction.'"

"How can back to back be your favourite position?"

"I remember when you used to kiss me under the mistletoe."

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

'She's left herself go: She has barnacles everywhere now...'

"Do you think we're a storybook romance transformed into a textbook case?"

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

We would have come to you sooner, but he wouldn't ask for directions.

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."