Elderly Couples T-Shirts

"Hearing aids. What did you wish for?"

Gift Suggestions for Post-Diamond Wedding Anniversaries

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"Wish I could do that." "Better give him a dog treat and a bath first."

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

"We missed Fashion Week!"

Snow & Flo series: Wedding guests.

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"At our age I'd say we have about two or three binge watches left in us."

"The Lord brings people together for reasons only he knows."

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'

'Come die with me.'

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

"Would you like to hear tonight's specials, or have you already closed yourselves to new experiences?"

"My doctor said I have 'a reptile dysfunction.'"

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

'She's left herself go: She has barnacles everywhere now...'

"How can back to back be your favourite position?"

"My wife - is she still staring at me?"

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"I remember when you used to kiss me under the mistletoe."

"Do you think we're a storybook romance transformed into a textbook case?"

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

We would have come to you sooner, but he wouldn't ask for directions.