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Albert & Myra - The End Story

"Why bother?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"I can't wait to introduce you to all the people I used to be friends with, before I started spending all my time with you."

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"Wish I could do that." "Better give him a dog treat and a bath first."

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"Honestly, John, I'm not angry! I was going to suggest you give up driving even before you hit my car in the parking lot!"

Heavy meals on wheels

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

'I'm fighting ageing.'

Remote Control Duck

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"Just when I thought I had all the answers, I forgot what the questions were."

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

"I'd like to get my withdrawal in either cryptocurrency or social-media exposure."

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

Snow & Flo series: Wedding guests.

"We missed Fashion Week!"

"At our age I'd say we have about two or three binge watches left in us."

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

Medication for the elderly

"Would you like to hear tonight's specials, or have you already closed yourselves to new experiences?"