Old Couples Gifts

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

Mixed Doubles.

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

Family with pets.

Home Business - Electric Stapler.

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"Wish I could do that." "Better give him a dog treat and a bath first."

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

"We used to entertain a great deal."

'On second thought dear, I think it's your turn to make breakfast.'

"Be careful, Darlene. He's wearing a ring."

"We cancelled Netfix for this?"

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

'It's nice to go hiking together. It gives us a chance to compare notes and figure out what the kids are plotting!'

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

'Come die with me.'

One Way - Yield

'Dad, this is something I knocked up in the shed.'

Snow & Flo series: Wedding guests.

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'

"At our age I'd say we have about two or three binge watches left in us."

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

Home Business - Newspaper Ad.

"We missed Fashion Week!"

"Would you like to hear tonight's specials, or have you already closed yourselves to new experiences?"

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

'Hi, honey?we're home!'