Old Couples Gifts

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

Mixed Doubles.

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

Family with pets.

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

Home Business - Electric Stapler.

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

"Wish I could do that." "Better give him a dog treat and a bath first."

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

Early man wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the development of language.

"We used to entertain a great deal."

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

"We cancelled Netfix for this?"

"Be careful, Darlene. He's wearing a ring."

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

'On second thought dear, I think it's your turn to make breakfast.'

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

'It's nice to go hiking together. It gives us a chance to compare notes and figure out what the kids are plotting!'

'Dad, this is something I knocked up in the shed.'

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

"We missed Fashion Week!"

One Way - Yield

Home Business - Newspaper Ad.

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'

'...and could you refill the vinegar - Genius here thinks it's the wine.'

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

'Come die with me.'

"At our age I'd say we have about two or three binge watches left in us."

Snow & Flo series: Wedding guests.

"Would you like to hear tonight's specials, or have you already closed yourselves to new experiences?"

'But you have your own drawer - what greater display of commitment could you want?'

'Hi, honey?we're home!'