Aging Couples Enthusiast Gifts

"Talking to yourself again?"

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

Incompatible.

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

Breast Height Chart

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Wish I could do that." "Better give him a dog treat and a bath first."

Snow & Flo series: Wedding guests.

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

"At our age I'd say we have about two or three binge watches left in us."

"We missed Fashion Week!"

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

"Would you like to hear tonight's specials, or have you already closed yourselves to new experiences?"

"My doctor said I have 'a reptile dysfunction.'"

"I remember when you used to kiss me under the mistletoe."

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

"Look at it this way, dear, if our bodies are 80% water, then you’re not fat, you’re flooded."

"I remember when you used to whisper sweet nothings in my ear."

"Man, your old lady really is an old lady"

'Used to be 'Rock around the Clock', now is it 'Limp Around the Block'?'

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

Couple on a Tandem Cycling in Different Directions

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

"It's male pattern osteoporosis."

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'

'Are you sure you still love me even though I'm old, and everything just hangs now?'