Aging Enthusiasts Gifts

"When are we going for lunch?"

'The only thing that gets easier as you grow older is getting tired.'

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

Breast Height Chart

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

Ed's receding hairline!

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

Aging Problems

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

Old Frogs' Home

My philosophy ... If you can't beat 'em, outlive 'em.

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

Midlife: You Are Here.

'They want your underwear.'

That's Seven in Human Years

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."

'I hate to break this to you, Clark, but your buns of steel have turned to jello.'

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"