Aging Aficionados Gifts

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

'Why John, I remember you when you were this high.'

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'

'I know what you mean. I can remember someone from kindergarten, but I can't tell you who I sniffed yesterday.'

"No, we're not getting any younger, but why, pray tell, is that such a revelation to us?"

"Would you rather have Alzheimer's or Parkinson's?"

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

"Of course 40 is the new 39."

'You're getting older... it's a common complaint.'

'I think we're just getting older. Tell me, when was the last time you felt frisky?'

Fortune teller sits beneath a sign 'Wrinkles Read Here'

'Isn't it funny how the older we get, the more we become like our mothers?'

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

Breast Height Chart

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

Ed's receding hairline!

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'They want your underwear.'

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

Middle-aged people spend a lot of time looking for things that they have 'lost'.....

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'