Anti-aging Enthusiasts Gifts

"We need a fresh young face on the board. Simpkins, get some Botox injected."

"I've been down here 50 years, but you'd never know it. Staying out of the sun has kept my skin fresh, firm and wrinkle-free."

'Will 50 be enough, madam?'

"Good news! You're in a great condition for a man of 60!"

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

Breast Height Chart

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

Ed's receding hairline!

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

My philosophy ... If you can't beat 'em, outlive 'em.

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

'They want your underwear.'

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

That's Seven in Human Years