Anti-aging Aficionado Gifts

"You can try make-up, but you're a banana...age spots are inevitable."

"Honey, let's lay off the Botox for a while, shall we?"

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

Cosmetic surgery tall order.

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

Everything was going great until the day I turned forty. Then my face just seemed to cave in.

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'My doctor told me these new Botox injections could be harmful.'

Woman worrying about Botox health risk article - Husband says 'You look really old and wrinkly since you had that botox treatment'

'Botox. A hell of a lot of botox.'

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

"I'm on the Mediterranean diet."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

Breast Height Chart

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Ed's receding hairline!

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

My philosophy ... If you can't beat 'em, outlive 'em.

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."